When going online and meeting or chatting with your new discreet encounter before you meet you can let each other know what you are looking for. This also shows what you would like to do with them.  By sending a sample flick of some porn to show them what you like or  what your into.  You can send them maybe of picture of you or a picture of what you would like to do with them to build anticipation.  Maybe a little short scenario of how you would like things to go down could really add to the excitement.  This will also give you a little heads up on what the person you are contemplating having an affair with is interested in.  Why be shy about what you want and fantasize about?  Here with married dating you can let those fantasies be known and lived out.