It can be tough to get back into the dating scene and start looking for someone serious after coming out of a relationship.Many people choose to enjoy the single life for awhile, and others are looking for a casual relationship that is often known as a “friend with benefits” Below
Establish and Define
Set up boundaries for each other. If both you and your “friend” are on the same page, everything will be much more enjoyable.
The worst thing that can happen in a friends with benefits situation is a miscommunication that leaves either your or them looking silly because they misunderstood what the relationship was really about. Be clear and define!
Don’t Be Needy!
It defeats the purpose to be too demanding in a friends with benefits arrangement. The point is to be casual and have fun,so don’t put unnecessary stress on your “friend” by demanding things and throwing fits like the kind that you would find in a normal relationship. Let loose and have fun!
Pick The Right Partner
A Friends with Benefits relationship isn’t for everyone. Don’t just go after the first cute guy or girl you see. Do your homework, and find out if the person you have your sights set on is the right fit for what you’re looking for. For example, are they even single in the first place? This seems like an obvious question but you would be surprised how often it is ignored. If your potential “friend is just coming out of a long relationship, they may be emotionally fragile which can be bad for you. On the same hand, that same person may be fully ready to spread their wings and have fun, so pay close attention to your potentials and their body language.
Your best bet is often picking someone that you already like, but they have to be outside of your social or work circle. Ending a friends with benefits relationship can cause serios awkwardness if you have to spend time with or be around that person in the future.
And since your in this to have fun, don’t set yourself up for future discomfort. Natural chemistry is probably the most important thing to look for in the right partner, since you’re not looking for deep philosophical conversations. If your potential “friend” doesn’t have many other interests or friends, then chances are they will have nothing better to do than spend lots of time together with you.
This isn’t what you want if you plan on keeping things casual and strings-free.
Jealousy Never Rewards
Simply put, don’t go after having a friend with benefits in order to make your spouse or ex jealous. There is RARELY a time in which this actually works, it’s mainly something people get from the movies. And if you’re hooking up with a friend of your ex or someone similar, nothing good will come out of it. Revenge never solves anything, and this applies to the world of hooking up as well.
Feelings Aren’t Your Friend
This may be easier said than done, but don’t get too attached! Friends with benefits relationships most commonly end because one person starts falling for the other person. Think of this relationship as a harmless crush, and don’t participate in activities usually reserved for couples. Don’t go out to the movies; go out for drinks instead. Don’t go out on vacation; just get a hotel room and have some casual fun. Gifts tend to bring people closer together, so don’t go out buying gifts for your new friend with benefits. Keep things simple and straightforward, and you both will end up much happier in the end. Another aspect to remember is that you are allowed to see other people. Part of the “no-string-attached” label means that you are free to do what (and who) you please, without having to answer to anyone. Don’t miss out on this important perk. Continue to do your own thing as well, whether you are pursuing a better career, education, or whatever else. In a friends with benefits relationship, you still have the time you want to pursue your goals, because you don’t have a time-spending quota to meet like you do in a regular relationship.
Let loose with your “friend” and try all of the things you were afraid to try in your last relationship. This is a unique time in which you’re allowed to experiment and be bold, so take advantage! Once you’re able to throw away caution and truly enjoy yourself, you’ll be getting the most out of this new relationship. You’ll probably learn some new trick to use on future partners as well – it’s no secret that experience is the best teacher. So sit (or lay) back, and enjoy the ride!